“Women tend to work things out face to face, whereas men tend to work things out shoulder to shoulder.”
Heard on a podcast and repeated by Psychology Today, this statement illustrates that both groups prefer intimacy and build that through trust in different ways: women through conversation, and men through work or play.
From Psychology Today:
Why do women stand face-to-face? There are many possible reasons:
The vis-à-vis frame allows women to get a fix on the face, and because they have a full view, they get more information.
It enhances and encourages more eye contact, which creates more bonding and connection. It keeps people focused on each other.
It creates a gate-keeping function: When someone is standing directly in front of you, it is easier to keep him or her engaged. You are more connected in the interaction. (The side-by-side position opens the door to outside stimuli and people, allowing for interruptions.)
It signals that they are listening.
It helps women read emotions, convey their own feelings more directly, and maintain the social connection.
And for males:
Why do men favor the side-by-side approach? Again, there are several possible explanations:
Direct eye contact can be construed as challenging among men; a face-to- face frame is a more competitive posture and stance.
The side-by-side frame increases men’s comfort level and eliminates the feeling of competition.”
Men are not as interested in looking at the face or maintaining eye contact. It is not always high priority for them to be able to read the other person; therefore they do not take a direct body posture.
A person in a dominant position—a male, in this scenario—usually makes less eye contact than a subordinate.
For healthy relationships between genders,
“A woman should probably adopt at least one nonverbal, side-by-side leisure activity that her spouse enjoys, whereas men could improve their home lives if they took time out to sit face-to-face with their mates to engage in talk and active listening.”