Despite being an autistic, bipolar transgender individual with no coding background, I’m throwing myself into the Web Development program at SCC and am earning a 4.0—I am driven to succeed and be authentic in spite of any obstacle, in order to reduce suffering and give people the space to be themselves as I work to improve our world.
Studying code development, while difficult, benefits my over-analytical processing mind, but being transgender and dressing in feminine clothes in public requires a lot more courage than I originally thought. After a particularly distressing period of my life though, I’ve found that dressing in public, and showing my authentic, actual self to the world, is the best way for me to deal with my eating-disorder and body issues, so weathering the stares and occasional hatred of others is a price I’m willing to pay.
I bring my authentic self to school, and that means my positive side and also my feminine side, trusting my professors and classmates to accept me and hopefully support me, and the result has been mostly positive. Sometimes people share with me their views, that I’m a “sinner” and other speech that serves to separate and divide, but also often people come up to me and say how happy they are to see me confident enough to be myself; in a strange way, my own public struggles with dressing in public may inspire others to chase their own particular dreams, even if those particular goals have nothing to do with gender and physical expression: in the same way I’m motivated to keep on pursuing my goals by a mountain-climber who didn’t quit until reaching the summit, my decision to publicly dress (and audibly hear ridicule in public places at school, like in the library for example) may inspire others to be authentic within some area of their own life.
I grew up in an abusive household, where I learned to get by through subduing my emotions, and suppressing my true self, whereas now I’m approaching life with open arms, reminding myself to keep myself open to learning, to new ideas and ways of processing information, which is essential when learning computer programming, an area I didn’t have any experience in before. The grit and determination I learned in my childhood has given me the strength to commit to academic goals, and succeed in the classroom and outside (I’ve also been active in several student groups, the Central Circuit (student newspaper), Byte Club, and IT Help Desk (where I work), and I combine that work-ethic and belief in myself with the desire to remain open and be authentic; the results have been that most days are a joy, although there are occasional struggles when someone is mean or hurtful. I respond not by running away or shutting down my emotions, or responding in hurt or anger, but recognizing the divine in everyone and giving them their space to be, even if their self-expression is hurtful to me (as long as they aren’t actually physically hurting me), and I feel better after handling situations like this. (I’m not always at my best, but I always try).
In these ways, I’ve proven again and again my resiliency and commitment to excellence, combining my can-do attitude with a concentration on remaining present, open and engaged, offering my best to the Seattle Central College community that has given me so much: its truly a privilege to be here, and I thank you for considering me for this award.